Your Goals?

I set out for an 8 miler and came home only doing five.  I was so fine with it because I listened to my body and the ridiculous heat that I was struggling to cut through with each stride.  I was fine because I had one of those "deep thoughts" when I was running and came home feeling better than when I left.  In my eyes that would be the definition of a good run.  I love running because it clears my mind and allows me to see things in a different light, a better way...the whole picture lets say. 

I've been frustrated lately because the training for the marathon has become more demanding and so has life...in fun ways.  Its summer, I am home with the kids, friends want to go out, play dates, summer concerts, the beach, pool, relaxing.  Aside from the fun stuff, I also have chores, errands, and the children that don't always want to cooperate...oh yeah and that thing called sleep.  Remember that?

What's been frustrating is I felt annoyed that it was becoming so difficult. I was trying to fit runs in when they really weren't the best times for me and my body. I wasn't getting enough sleep. I've been trying to settle our home and get rid of "stuff" that we don't need....I just felt like --why the hell is no one else seeing how difficult this goal is?  Why is no one helping me?? Why isn't Scott realizing how hard this is?  Why isn't my mom just offering to babysit a day lol...without me asking lol?

okay so what does this have to do with the run?

As I set out for the run I said to myself "it is okay that you do five".  It is already 90 and to fit the eight in I would have had to go at a faster pace.  I was okay with it and then compromised with myself that I would do the Cordwood and Harbor Hill roads to make up for the lost three.  I promised myself that no matter how slow, I would not stop. I would run every inch of the hills.  So I finished the first hill, the second, the third, the fourth and then came to the last long annoying one...I was two to three feet away from finishing my mini-goal (I usually make a little mini goal for every run...a certain pace, try not to stop for the bathroom, watch form etc) when a guy that TOTALLY didn't need to pull out right away, did and cut me off with his truck.  I was soooo annoyed...thinking really guy?  You needed to pull out in front of me?  You couldn't let me finish the 20 more steps to reach my goal?  ....

That's when I had a little moment and realized.  This is life.  This guy had no idea of my goal.  This guy isn't thinking about my goals.  This guy isn't running up a redonkulous hill in 90 degree weather, he has his own agenda.  It would have been courteous for him to let me go...but he didn't 

and that's life.  I can either sit here and get pissed

or

wait and keep going. 

So what I realized (whew..very long winded I'm sorry lol), is that no one else is going to know your goals, care about your goals, protect your goals like you do.  You can share your goals and people can support you but when things get difficult you might have to pause, wait , redefine, revise and then keep working towards them.  Never lose them , never let the things that try to get in the way of them distract you. 

What are your major goals?

What are your mini goals?

What distracts you most from your goals?

How do you get back on track?

Q&A Part 1.... and Tag your it to 5 of YOU!

said...

So here is part one of the Q&A that Chris from the Manly Runner
tagged me on.  I give to you, PART 1 of my answers and 5 blogs that I am tagging.  TAG YOU'RE IT!!! Copy and paste the Q& A logo and let the
questions begin! 

1.  Amanda from Runninghood - because I love her blog.

2.  Julia from Pain, Pride, Perseverance - because she is just always so  upbeat and positive! 

3.  Marie from Morecheese - love how she writes.   

4.  RockStarTRi- because he is a fellow Long Islander

5.  Rachel from RunningforTrevor- because I value why and how she started running and enjoy reading her blog.

Amanda from Runninghood

What is the hardest thing you've ever done in life? Or one of them!
Love these things! :) And the happiest thing. :)

It's difficult to say the hardest thing because when you are going through situations they all seem pretty hard at the time.  I think though, if I look back, my miscarriage after years of infertility was the hardest.  The hardest thing about it was not allowing it to define who I was.  I did let it take control of me   for a bit and getting out of that was really very difficult for me.  It was a very hard time in my life.  I remember waking up after having to have had the DNC and asking the nurses "how is the baby"...I knew at that moment that this was going to be a difficult road.  It was hard, it was scary but I made it through
and I'm stronger for it. 

The happiest thing in my life was seeing my daughters face when she saw her new baby brother.  Just experiencing her seeing him and holding him for the first time was priceless.  Bliss.

Christy @ My Dirt Road Anthem: A Runner's Blog said...

Lol at Amanda, and how about what is the hardest thing about a Tri for you and why (besides hitting    the confirm button ..jk)

Very funny Christy…they should make the first damn confirm the only damn confirm button!!  Hardest part with Tri, considering I haven't officially raced in one yet-ahem- see here for the big loser moment, is the bike.  I have a few fears when it comes to the bike that I need to get over.  I almost feel like a good hearty fall would do me good.  When I find myself going over a certain speed, I hit the breaks.  Yes, I am one of those.  I can't help it.  Friends assure me that I will get over this with time...we shall see.  Any other advice to get over the fear of falling and breaking into little pieces would be much appreciated.   

Julia said...

ohhh! how fun! what is your greatest accomplishment? Or what is something you are most proud of?

Greatest accomplishment- Presently, it is graduating and landing a great job that I love in a great district that is close to home.  It is very difficult to get a teaching job where I live and each day I go to work I appreciate what I have and love what I do.  I love my students and take what I do seriously.  I am in the process of moving on to what I think will be more of a physical accomplishment.  Hampton Marathon baby!  Its huge for me that I commited to this marathon and I'm sticking with it.  HUGE.  I was the girl that used to complain to my gym teacher about my asthma when we had to do the mile in elementary.  I mean I really thought it was nuts that he was asking us to do that during the school day!  So to say this marathon will be an accomplishment is a bit of an understatement!   

Most Proud of-  My children.  I am so proud of who they are becoming and  who they already are. 

Nikki said...

Oh, those are all good questions. How about, What is something you have never done  that

you would like to do someday?

Hm.  I do have a bucket list...and its long.  The first thing that pops on my mind that I would enjoy right now would be to go sailing.  I think it would be beautiful, relaxing, and fun.  Let's add in that I would want it to be perfect weather and somewhere exotic.  Okay...yeah that's good. 


XLMIC said...

How many siblings do you have?

I have three siblings.  Rocky, Danny and Maria (with an A)

How many kids do you want?

I have two and I think I am good. ;)

Do you wish you were stinkin' rich? And if you were, how would
 your life be different?

Stinkin' Rich?  Sure.  I mean, I probably would put most of it in the bank and save it for my children to go to college or something.  I'm a saver...can't help it.  But I can spend a penny or two soooo...if I was ‘stinkin’ rich….I would :

·         Buy a house on the water

·         Buy a house upstate

·         Get a boat

·         Pay off my house and heck...why not my families too.

·         Get someone to clean the above mentioned houses.

·         Buy a Jeep Wrangler lol

·         Get a new wardrobe

·         Get a personal trainer

Aside from all the fun stuff, I think my life would change mostly with my job.  I would never leave it totally but I definitely would work part time.  I would love to be able to stay home more with the kids while also having a job I love. 


Were you popular in high school?

I was the quiet girl but at the same time had friends from every group- dirtbags, jocks, geeks you name it.  I don't think I would have defined myself as popular.  I only found out people went to parties and hung out and drank in high school, years later when Scott told me.  Apparently, Scott was popular in high school. lol. Me, not so much. I was volunteering at the Nursing home while my hubs was out with his friends probably drinking in a parking lot somewhere. 

Are you aging well?

I would like to think so.

What is the one thing you know you should change in your life but you are
just having the hardest time with changing it?  
Ugh.  I know the answer to this...Shall I be honest?  I wish I could walk away and totally let go of people that don't respect my friendship, my family or don't treat me the way I know I should be treated.  When I mean walk away...I mean not let it take room up in my life anymore...with thoughts, regret and anger.  I want to learn that I can forgive and forget and  that it doesn't mean having to try to still be friends or tolerate anyones bullshit.

Chris at the Manly Runner said...

I can't wait to tag XLMIC on my next post. She is a piece of work, eh?

1) Where do you think you will be living in 20 years?

With you and Kovas. 

2) If you had to travel across country in a car and could only bring one CD, what       would it be?
I think it would be a homemade CD with a mixture of songs like:

Counting Crows

Dave Matthews

Eminem

BEP’s

Sara bareilles

A little bit of everything…love my music.

3) What is #1 on your Bucket List?

Well first let me just preface that order had no relevance.  On that note…number one was

1-      Road trip by myself….

July 12, 2011 9:04 PM

RockStarTri said...

How much did Chris pay you to post this? If not money, would he let you wear
the toga?  I hear Kovas lent him a thermojock to wear underneath it.

I think when I move with them both in twenty years we will all be
wearing a toga with a thermojock. 

As a graduate of a certain school district that included Mt Pleasant Elem,
Great Hollow MS, and SHS East, which athletic lesson is the hardest to learn?

Hm.  Did we go to school together?  Was I popular?  Were you my
friend?  Should I be nervous?????Hardest athletic lesson learned-
DO NOT untie your shoe laces on the shoe event during field day.

July 12, 2011 10:34 PM

Mommy Monday

Just in case you thought ALL days go as planned!

Let me see what it feels like to paint my eye.
(That would be the paint I bought at Toys R' Us)

Enjoy your week!  The answering part of Q&A will be started tomorrow...so if you have more to ask--go here! Oh and I'll be tagging five of ya!

Truth and Dare

So SUAR aka Shut Up and Run  (one of the great, funny and informative blogs out there so go visit!)posted an entry titled "A Day in the Life" and at the end she wrote...

Post your “day in the life.” I dare you

Can't pass up a dare!  A day in my shoes....the ins and outs of my day...here goes.

6am-7am

I press the snooze button about 20 times. If you have ever stayed in my home you most likely have complained about all the alarms going off at different times.  Its because I have always had trouble getting out of bed.  I love my bed.  I have an alarm I can't ignore now...well sometimes I can but it takes a lot of faking heavy sleeping!  Mr. Coolman Luke- Get him dressed and then myself!

The stud

7:30

Go downstairs make a peanut butter sandwich and prep everything for my long run.  15 miles for me today! Okay so for me this is huge!  It is the farthest distance I have ever run. I was excited and a bit nervous, especially when my Garmin band decided to rip and break.  Really?!  I had to tape it together and then tie it to my belt...don't ask. 

Me taping

The day was beautiful and I felt great.  Had three chews before I started, a GU at 6 and four chews at 11 miles.  I felt really hungry at 13 and was thinking "hmm wonder if I can pin a sandwich onto my shorts for the marathon".  That wouldn't be normal would it? I had to stop twice for water. At 10 miles I put my ipod on.  My plan is to go to the ipod after 14 miles.  I bonked and went with the ipod earlier because my head was all trying to think and crap. I couldn't focus on what I was doing.  Learned some new places where I need to place the GLIDE.... ;)fun stuff!  Overall very happy with the run and sooo excited that I wasn't dying after! I did 15.30 in 2 hours and 34 minutes. 

10 ish

I am in FEED ME mode now but sometimes my stomach doesn't really want anything heavy after a long run, so I make a shake to drink while in the bath.  Yes, another ice bath.  It worked the first time so it is now a part of my long run routine.  This time it wasn't so bad getting in.

Vega Sport Recovery with Zico water, blueberries and a banana



Ice bath...so exciting right?



11am

I' m rushing now because I have to meet my Scott at the library.  He was with them today because he is leaving for Florida tomorrow and wanted to spend some extra time with the kids.  I signed them up for

Playdoh at the library.  So fun!

Um? Why am I working so hard? It's playdoh!?!

I have playdoh in my hair.  My son is attacking...who knows what!?
What the hell is happening to Family Fun at the Library?



12:30 pm

It's lunch time.  Look at the randomness.  It's a whole lot of something going on.  Best part of lunch was my date.

She had yogurt.

Then we moved outside to have some cherries!



1:00

LUCAS goes in for a nap! Such a cutey...I tend to stare for about five minutes and savor every minute!

Check out the left over play doh on his shirt!

1:30 

Okay. So I was starting to crash and the irritability was starting to set in. I think the hardest part about being a parent and training for anything is that you don't have too much time to crash and rest. I literally groveled for twenty minutes of shut eye....it was worth every little groveling penny!

Look how cushy it is!

2:00 

Brooke had a birthday party at 4 so we headed to Toys R' Us to pick up a gift.  Nothing like a last minute shopping trip. I was pleasantly surprised.  They had so many awesome craft things and on sale too!  I got the presents and a few things for the kids...fingerpaints, driveway paint, and an wipe off car thingy...



Last minute shopping

Their reward for being so well behaved in the store. 
Let's just say this is a rare occasion!

 3:00 
I'm hungry again.  Nuff' said!

Shrimp fra' Diavolo...yummy!



4:00

Lucas had his speech testing at 4.  Not sure the teachers would have been fond of me taking pictures of them for my blog...so I refrained.  He did really well and doesn't need services.  Our doctor had suggested getting tested because he was not producing enough words.  His receptive is so much stronger than his expressive.  Its unbelievable though since that visit, when he suggested the testing, how much more he is saying.  Every child is so different in their development. My daughter was reciting poetry (not really but kind of) and Lucas is fine with "give me" and then jumping off the top of a building (not really but kind of). 

5:00 

Off to Bed, Bath and Beyond for this cute little college shower apparatus that I thought would be great for by the pool.  Shopping with one child is sooooo much easier than two! 

He brought his baby and is proud of it!

6:00

Next was Trader Joe's. Scott and Brooke met us there.  It's totally typical of me to have two carts, a kid in each but Scott was home so I recruited help! 

The kids are in that back cart...I promise.

7:00

Alright so don't call CPS...this was a long day and Lucas and I just ate dinner.  I know its late and I know this is typically his bed time...but I did make it up to him by getting him Red Mango after we ate.  That makes up for  it right Hungry Runner Girl?  Parenting at its best....staying up late and eating frozen yogurt with the fixings!

Obviously couldn't help but eat some before I took the pic!

8:00
Next came love, then came marriage...no really.  Next came baths, then brushing teeth, then books, then feed fishy, then bed for the kids.  Then I cleaned up downstairs, then I tried to finish this entry but never did because it took too long....Hope I didn't bore ya! But this is....

A day in the life of ...

Annette!

What do you think?
Have you ever strapped a sandwich to yourself on a long run????

Do you want a nap after a long run?

Are you a bit irritable after a tough workout?

Do you get your kids to bed on time EVERY night?

Do you have days that are just totally filled with chores?

Do you use frozen yogurt or icecream as a bargaining tool?

YOUR TURN!

Update / Q& A Pass it on!

Today is the first day that I'm feeling better and more towards normal.  The CAT scan came out clear which is good.  I mostly felt off balance, nauseus, lil' pukey dukey, dizzy and all that jazzy stuff.  I handled not being at the TRI pretty well and took it with a grain of salt.  I am not sure I would have handled it the same way if that happened with my marathon. 

It turned out last minute that a friend had a number she couldn't use and we were going to do the ol' switcharooni.  Up until Saturday morning I was still going to "try the tri" to be honest.  It took a little of me getting ill after a swim for me to say to myself-cut the shit, you're not racing.  Toughing it out is what I do, listening to my body is what I don't do, its what I am trying to learn!  Toughing it out is what I've done in the past and its gotten me in trouble-this was a lesson and its the first time I've listened.  So to you concussion....

On that note...

One of the blogs I follow, The Manly Runner has started a Question and Answer forum.  I was tagged which is very exciting!  I hope you have some questions but more so I hope I have some answers!!!! I will try my darndest!  So give it your best shot, ask me a question, any question....running, training, biking, swim, kids, school, the hub....you get the picture!

I will choose five blogs to pass the Q & A on to! Looking forward to it!

Back and Forth

So, I am reluctantly headed back to the ER.  I'm still feeling not the best and called the doctor to get a guesstimate of when I could resume activity and/or would be feeling myself again.  He wasn't thrilled that they didn't do the CAT scan so I was told to go back.  I really feel like I am going to be sitting in the parking lot for a good hour deciding whether to go in or not.  Pretty sure I'll be making some "What do you think??" phone calls.  So here, friends is one of my glitches.  When it comes to myself I apparently have trouble making a decisions lol especially with things like this, you know concussions and all. I think the problem is that part of me is scared, part of me is nervous, part of me doesn't want to go through a CAT scan if it isn't neccesary...etc. etc.

The babysitter will be here in about five minutes...so we will see.  Maybe I'll take a pic of me laying down in the ER because I wouldn't want to go another day without a pic of me laying down...

BTW...still bummed about the tri. I will update on that all later.  I guess though like many of you have said, everything happens for a reason.

Really P-O'ed

Honestly, I can't believe I am even typing this post right now.  I'm so upset but at the same time so in shock that I can't even cry.  I took the half hour trip to pick up my packet for the triathlon this weekend and when I got to the counter they couldn't find my name.  I waited, asked them to double check and was relieved when I saw they were looking for Johnston.  Whew..that's why.  Panic started to come back when she still couldn't find my name.   "I'm sorry you're not on this list.  A few others had this problem.  There was a small button that you had to confirm, are you sure you confirmed?"

what?

I can't not believe what you are telling me right now.

what?

I just don't even know what to say.  I really can't grasp how this happened and how I didn't do it right?  I also don't know why I was so sure I was signed up...it seems like such a STUPID mistake to make.  I remember sitting there signing up for it. I remember thinking "wow, this is a lot of goddamn money!"  I can't stand that I am not doing something that I have been working for.  I can't stand that I said I was doing something and I'm not now. I'm a bit pissed.....

I have to calm down and remember that this was going to be my first "fun-try-it-out" tri, that I was going to possibly give up my spot anyway if my head still hurt from the concussion...........the problem is I really wanted to do it...and it sucks.