Thursday, December 28, 2017

Throwback Thursday...I can't believe I am posting these

I truly believe to grow you have to be honest.  Honesty, especially with yourself is the only way to grow and look back with true perspective. 
One of the things that bothers me the most is when people say...
"well it's easy for you" 
WHAT?!
Nope.  Not easy, never was.  The one thing I think I do have going for me is 
I am now able to (I struggled badly with this at one point) be honest with myself, 
let things out instead of keep them in (hence the blog)
think, 
set goals, 
and most importantly I have the mindset that I can figure out what I need to make those goals.  

Here are the good pictures.  I didn't photograph myself often when I was at my heaviest.  These are the ones I could find after I started trying to get back on track.  
The highest size I got up to was a 16.  
I weighed 165.  
I was 5 feet tall.  
I just didn't feel great health wise. 




See  you tomorrow.  
If you're visiting...say hello! 
Heck...I left you pictures. 
AJ

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Get Dressed- We're Going to the Gym

So we all have off for the winter holidays.  Fun, right?  Well not if things don't go as planned...and heck lets be honest they never do.  I currently have the girl child at Gymnastics and the boy child is riding around with his roller blades and helmet while also trying to play the piano.  😳 
I am trying to get time in to make the goals I set out for myself.  
Goals: 
1.  Do something physical each day.  
I am being very careful to not say workout every day.  This is one of the things that I would like to adjust after burning out in the past. Too much...tends to be my thang.  Its a bit addicting that runners high, working out etc.  But I need to learn that balance is best.  I think working out HARD every day is too much on the body. So for now lets go with something Physical.  
Let's get physical, physical...
Image result for let's get physical
I digress...

2.  Blog each day.  
What helped me get back on track was going back to my roots and looking at the blog posts I have written in the past.  I seriously can't believe where I have been.  That's how lost you can get sometimes...that the person that did all of these things seems like a different person.  I needed to remind myself that this was ME.  That I did all of these things...and I can do it again but even better in the way that I feel like now I am even more aware of the process and wouldn't take advantage of it as much. 

3.  Food
I do know what to do with food.  I will get more into that later on.  I will tell you that at one point I was 50 pounds overweight and about 10 sizes bigger than I am right now. So I know food.  I know how to do good by it and I know how to abuse it.  I know what it is to be super strict and I know what it feels like to go crazy and do whatever the F&*% you want.  
(my kid don't like when I curse)
Both have positives, both have negatives. Right now what I am doing is sticking with making good choices.  I am not logging anything, counting, or abstaining from sweets.  This will obviously change once I get more on track.  Why?  
Because I just feel so much better when I am not swollen, hiving, moody and lethargic.  Let's be honest...sugars and junk do that to you.  End of story.  It sucks to have to stop them but the reward is a healthier life.


That's it for now.  Remember if you want to enjoy some sweet treats while we still can- enter a comment or say hello.  Some Hershey treats on your way if you win!  


Tuesday, December 26, 2017

How about 3 Strikes and I'm out...and a Hershey Giveaway

So last January I thought I was ready to get back. I had great intentions but didn't realize I needed to take many more twists and turns in this journey before even starting to think I could possibly get back. 

My mom passed away.  It will be 2 years April 26th.  To say it shook my world is an understatement.  Looking back over the past year and a half...I see that I was making it by the skin of my teeth.  Trying to get by, making it work for my kids.  I needed to lose myself to get by.  Goals, commitments, working out ...they all take the mind. They take focus.  They take determination. All things that I let go when my mom passed.  It seems now that I needed to let those go for a while.  I needed to focus on my inner self in a way that was very different.  Almost like I was protecting myself, putting myself into a sort of hibernation, forcing myself to do nothing but accept things, deal with things, be angry, be sad and just...be. 

There are spurts of light during all of this that allow you to see the things that mean the most.  The things that make you happiest.  Accepting that it will take time and patience and dedication to get back to those things is difficult.  Its a process that I am realizing now brings so much more of an understanding of what life is all about.

I want to get back on track.
I want to be feel free again. 
I want to run and feel strength. 
I want to be healthy for myself.
I want to be healthy for my children. 
I want to be the light that I was able to see in all of the darkness....

Today I will try again because that's what we do.  When we get knocked down, we get up and we try again. 

My goals I will touch upon in later posts but they all revolve around:
*Health * Excercise  *Meditation/Yoga   *Academics/Courses/New Learning
So today I struggled with getting to the gym because my little bugger aka Lucas was too scared to be left with his sister.  So I went in the basement and used some of my favorite Instagram People.  I am going to link the workouts.  They are awesome and quick and you can use them anywhere! Good luck and let me know if you try them!

Workout: 
Basement- 45 minutes.
1/2 mile Sprints on the treadmill

LEGS- I did 2 rounds of 10 each exercise

CORE WORKOUT - 2 rounds @10 Each

ARMS- 2 Rounds @ 10 each

Definitely got my heart rate up.  Try it out! 

Food
...we 'll talk after the holidays.  This mom has realized balance is best and never start off expecting perfection.  Today I only had 10 Hershey Kisses lol...


                                                   Image result for eating hershey kisses meme

                                                                                                        ...tomorrow is a new day. 

Agh for the heck of it...I'll share some! 
Leave a comment and say and I will do a free Hershey Kiss Bag Give Away!
(I'm pretty positive no one reads this and I will be eating the bag myself...again!)







Saturday, January 21, 2017

I'm Back-And Worse Off Than Ever

I know...its not the title that will bring a lot of readers...but that's not why I am back to blogging.  So much has happened in my life these past four years that I have lost a bit of who I am.  It's funny how life works.  Sometimes you feel like you know yourself so well...and then bang!  You lose yourself, you derail...in that derailment though there is a time when you need to look back and decide....which parts helped me, which parts hurt me, what do I want to get back, what do I want to continue and what do I want to do new.

I stopped running for a long spurt, a long spurt being 1-2 years.  When I say stopped...I mean I stopped the continuous daily run, the commitment.  I started to lift weights along with some spur of the moment 3 milers and an occasional yoga class.  There are many reasons why but I will save that for later....what's most important is that I stopped and I wondered a lot...which person is really me?  Am I the runner?  The person with goals?
                          OR...
Am I a person that likes the gym better, with a set routine, occasional runs on the treadmill?
                          OR...
Am I the person that does whatever I want, eats whatever I want, and then rushes around like a bat out of hell when I notice I am not fitting into most things in my closet, I am not truly happy with how I feel.

I am just at a point where I feel like--okay. Let's decide.  I love the FEEL of coming back from a run, I love the EMPOWERMENT I feel when I can pick up speed and run fast, I love being FREE when I am out in the open air, I pretty much love everything about it...which is why I get so confused to why I stopped?

Which is why I am writing.  I am writing to let myself feel and hear my own thoughts as I try to recover from some of the hardest years of my life...I am writing to help guide myself through this journey of getting back on track when you fall off.  I'm writing to help myself get back up and start off in the right direction.

I'll start slow.  I promise to myself to treat myself fairly....to enjoy the miles because the miles give me peace, they give me comfort and they bring me to my happy place.

Yesterday I ran 1 mile.  Today I ran three.

The journey back on track begins.





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