in the meantime let's talk kids. I'm not writing this by ANY MEANS to say I know what to do with YOUR child when they misbehave....I am actuallly writing it as a ....holy canoli am I doing this right?????
I will tell you we are on our first go around with my angel Brooke. You name its new for us in the parenting department. Brooke is our first and we try our best to figure out what's best for our child...while also trying to be cool, calm and collective. So first let me preface this with I love my daughter (lmao-too funny that I am starting with that) and she really is nothing less than I would ever ask for in a daughter. She is
but in there somewhere...(and I'm hoping in everybody's elses 4 year olds)...
|she can be ....a complete HANDFUL!!!|
She just likes to CONSTANTLY test us. It's like god had a private little meeting before she left him and said,
"Ok now Brooke, these parents are new. Your job is to make sure they know their job. Test them to their limits. Throw them for loops. Make sure they stay up some nights. Make them talk, discuss and worry. But in the end don't worry little Brooke, they won't break...they love you. Good luck."
Yep, that's what I think happened. Well today I had to have a little discussion with Brooke. I had to set hard limits (that was a 50 shades reference...we'll talk about that another time). Enough was enough. This was the talk...in a roundabout way.
Brooke(now not facing me, with her arms crossed). Brooke the way you are listening to me is not respectful, when you care about people you look at them when they are speaking. (I let her cry, didn't try to soothe--this I learned because she would sometimes use that to distract and deter). Mom and Dad love you a lot and for that reason we are going to be changing some rules around here. Many good things happen when you listen to your parents--and many not so good things are going to happen when you don't. I can't afford losing you or having something happen to you. Yesterday you had a very difficult time listening to directions and that can't happen....because
1. You could have gotten hurt.
2. It's disrespectful.
3. In life there are rules and you have to follow them.
and its BECAUSE we love you that we are going to help you follow those rules...
We are counting to 3...without skipping a beat now. It used to go like this (i'm sure you parents know).....1.................................twooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............I'm getting to three..you better see that i'm getting to three...are you going to stop....threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
When we get to three-- you lose something. The things you are surrounded by are privledges and you have to earn them. Good behavior keeps your things but negative will lose them. (I'm a teacher...I know the negative reinforcement vs. positive...but lets face it. LOSING HER RAPUNZEL DOLL FOR A DAY got her attention way faster and had more of an effect and its based MORE on what she is going to be face with in the real world. That's not to say I don't use the positive...its my go-to. But there is a time and place for everything...and losing Rapunzel sometimes needs to happen.)
You can be upset, you can be angry but through it we are going to love you and help you see that following the rules we be way easier than you think.
Brooke grunts for me to go away right about now.
I am not going to go away. I am going to stay with you until you are ready. Remember that I love you and THAT is why I am doing this.
and right there my friends is what I think i am trying to say. Everyday we do things because we love our kids...we want them to have the world, feel loved, to be enlightened, to have friends, loving family, to travel...
But the biggest thing is for us to hold their hand through what they FEEL is tough at the time, to let them know...yes things in life are HARD, that yes sometimes you WILL FAIL....and sometimes I will be the one at the other end TELLING you that it's wrong.....but I do it out of LOVE and the knowing that that is the only way you will make it....and be strong in the end.
I kept my hand out...and repeated to her I'm still here when you are ready. She took my hand after about 3 1/2 minutes...(stubborn lil' girl-which I'm sure will help in the future as well ;)
We walked downstairs...smiling and singing her song.
Me- Holy sh*t...I can't believe I just made it through that alive!